Recently, I have had some unexpected down time due to being under the weather. However, it has thrown me for a loop because I am not the type of person that can just sit still but I know I need to right now. Per my doctor’s orders, if I want to feel better, I need to rest, hydrate and freeze my gym membership for 3 – 4 weeks. That last requirement did NOT elicit a pleasant response. Typically, I am extremely active and if I am not, I have a really hard time sleeping so I have been up until at least 3am the past few nights. As a self-proclaimed productive perfectionist, I have been using this time to do work, plan Liv’s first birthday party extravaganza and organize files on my computer. In the midst of choosing 365 of my favorite pictures of Liv for my “a year in the life with Liv collage,” which will be displayed at her first birthday party, I realized I did not have enough of the most special moment, her actual birth. By the birth, I don’t mean horror movie gore, it means that special moment when you make eye contact with the most important person in your life. Despite my postpartum haze, I actually remember Ron taking pictures. At around midnight last night, I took Ron’s phone and used my favorite feature the magnifying glass at the top right and typed in September 2015.
I was shocked to find that Ron had some incredible photos from the delivery room that I had never seen. More importantly he had one of the most incredible nurse and I was able to zoom in and clearly read her name tag. That was all I needed to find her. The first thing I found was her wedding website but there was no way to reach her from there. She did not come up on Facebook by her name. I had to dig deeper, I searched for her matron of honor on Facebook and saw her pictures and luckily Lindsay was tagged in one and I found her.
Grab your tissue because as vulnerable as this makes me, I am going to share our exchange. Once again, thanks to the power of social media, I was able to reconnect to the person I call my guardian angel.
Where do I even begin? For the past 10.5 months I have thought about you and thanked my lucky stars for your presence in my life. In October of 2015, I called Prentice begging for your last name. Several different people told me that they could not release that information. I asked if I could just leave a gift and a note for you and apparently nurses are not allowed to accept gifts but I could send something to the head nurse and she would share it with all of the nurses. My husband, Ron and I talked about just sending something to all of the nurses but ultimately agreed we needed to find you. I knew in my heart I would find a way to thank you, somehow, some way.
Life started to get crazy as Ron and I fell so deeply in love with our newborn daughter, Liv. At least every couple of weeks since Liv was born we look at her in awe and one of us says, she wouldn’t be here without Lindsay. I know you have delivered many babies and I hope with a picture and the rest of this story you remember me because you are my guardian angel. I truly believe you were a gift from my first baby, my son.
In July of 2014 I delivered a stillborn baby boy at 24 weeks and that tragedy broke me. One year, 2 months and 1 day later our daughter’s birth brought me back to life. Pregnancy with Liv was one of the most challenging things I have ever endured, stressful, anxious and emotional. I kept waiting for something bad to happen and the thought of hearing her cry for the first time got me through each day. When she came out at 10:11 am on September 25, 2015, Dr. Gerber put her on my chest but she wasn’t crying and she started to turn purple. You grabbed her and called for backup. I thought my sweet baby girl was going to die but you were not going to let that happen. You saved my daughter which means you saved me because I would not have survived losing a second child. I just wish I could somehow express how incredible you are as a nurse, a person and soon to be wife. (I finally found you from your wedding website).
Liv’s first birthday is coming up and I am putting together a collage with 365 pictures for each day of her life. I was looking through Ron’s phone to see if he had any pictures that I didn’t and he had so many from the delivery room that I had never seen. Seeing those and you was so incredibly emotional, you would have thought that I found my long lost sister because I couldn’t sleep I was so excited that I had a picture that had your name tag. I swear I am not a creepy stalker; I just needed to let you know how amazing you are. Not only did you save my daughter’s life, you made sure I was comfortable fully well knowing that the last time I was in the labor and delivery unit at Prentice was the worst day of my life.
When Liv was stable you handed her back to me and I could just feel your relief and happiness for us. It was such a bittersweet situation because we will always long for our son but because of you, it was the most beautiful experience and the best day of my life.
When everything settled down, I was wheeled up to recovery and I saw you crying as I passed by you in the hall. Just thinking about that makes me cry because you knew what I had been through and what could have been had you not intervened. I think about it every day and I take nothing for granted with my daughter. Liv fills each day with sunshine and happiness. I even cherish the massive poop explosions because I feel privileged that I get to clean those up, I AM SERIOUS! You made sure I was taking her home and because of you, I am a mom to a living child. We may have only spent a matter of hours together but you are truly a beautiful soul, empathetic and compassionate. The best day of my life and the best part of my life is because of you. It has been my mission to find you and let you know that you are the reason my biggest blessing is asleep in the other room.
I just wanted to confirm that this is indeed you and this is your wedding website (I removed the link for privacy purposes). The two sentence maximum on the gift card wouldn’t allow for this novel I have written. It would be such a pleasure to send you a gift for your upcoming nuptials, I just want to make sure I am sending it to you.
It’s so good to hear from you. I remember that day very well! I am actually stuffing our wedding envelopes with my mom right now and talking about how I don’t get to be a staff nurse as frequently because I’m in charge more. It’s so nice when I get to be a bedside nurse and make connections with people like you. I’m so happy to hear that you and Liv are doing well. I can’t believe it’s been almost a year! Do you know what a rainbow baby is? She’s yours! Give that sweet girl a good squeeze and a kiss from me!
I’m so glad you got my message! It’s also another sign that you are my guardian angel because this is liv’s first birthday invitation…
And she was born on my mom’s birthday:)
I sent Lindsay an ice cream maker from her registry and on the card I wrote, I hope Liv and I can share some ice cream with you one day. Social media can be a powerful resource, especially if you are determined to thank someone.