Take a moment and think about your daily interactions. Do the majority of them involve eye contact or face-to-face interaction?
Sherry Turkle, a psychologist and professor at MIT whose primary academic interest is the relationship between humans and technology, recently came out with a book called “Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age.” In the book, Turkle argues that texts, tweets, Facebook posts, emails, instant messages, and snapchats—these simultaneous, rapid-fire instances of online communication—have replaced face-to-face conversation, and that people are noticing the consequences. Over-reliance on devices, she argues, is harming our ability to have valuable face-to-face conversations, “the most human thing we do,” by diminishing our capacity for empathy.
That is very worrying to me.
I am all about the power of digital media to enhance and even empower communication. I think it’s a great tool to stay in touch and for businesses to market themselves. What worries me is the reliance we all have on it.
Think about it. Children today communicate mostly through texts and social media posts. No wonder Turkle predicts their capacity for empathy is diminishing- they’re able to churn out bullying words and insults in the form of a social media post or text message without ever seeing the hurt on the other person’s face or realizing the impact their hurtful words have on another person. When you speak to people in person, you’re forced to recognize their full humanity, which is where empathy begins.
We’re constantly communicating with one another- liking a post on Instagram, wishing someone a “Happy Birthday” via a Facebook post- but have we lost the art of conversation? Think about the dinner table. Next time you’re at a restaurant, look around and notice how many people around you are on their phone. Our constant dependence on our smartphones and digital technology is actually impeding our sense of intimacy and interaction. We’re so busy wondering what we’re missing online that we don’t realize what we’re actually missing is sitting right across from us at the dinner table.
Personally, I don’t want to live in a world where empathy, that fundamentally human ability to relate to one another, has been replaced with robotic messages sent from a phone.
So, I challenge you to do the following:
- Next time you’re at work and you have to tell a coworker something, get up out of your chair and go visit them at their desk instead of sending an email or instant message.
- Going to a concert? Put away your phone for a full song. Don’t record it or try and get a good picture of the band. Just enjoy the music.
- When you’re out to dinner with your family, friends, or on a date next, tell everyone to keep their phones in their pocket or purse for the duration of the meal and have a meaningful conversation that isn’t interrupted by the constant flow of digital content.
- Stay in the moment! We can all learn a little something from this lady:
John Blanding/The Boston Globe via Getty Image
