The Bridesmaid Bylaws

This coming weekend will mark the 5^th wedding that I’ve been lucky enough to take part in, 6^th if you count my brief stint as a flower girl when I was 4. Throughout the course of these weddings, I’ve learned a few things about what it takes to be a bridesmaid. You might be thinking, “What is she talking about? All you have to do is put on a dress and walk down the aisle.” If this is your thought process, I’m going to take this moment to let you know that you are sorely mistaken.

Planning a wedding can be an incredibly stressful event for a bride (and groom!), so as a friend and bridesmaid, it is your duty to love, and more importantly, support your friend throughout this time. Check out my top 5 tips on how to be an above average bridesmaid.

1. This is not, I repeat NOT, your wedding.

• This one’s a shocker, I know, but try to keep in mind that this isn’t about you. Your time will come – but for now, your opinions, tastes and interests don’t matter. Put yourself in the bride’s shoes and imagine how you’d want your bridesmaids to treat you. She surely won’t be an angel throughout the entire process but it’s your job to grin and bear it.

2. Ask how you can help.

• Don’t wait until a week before the big day to extend a helping hand. From the color scheme, to invitations, to the bridal shower, to seating arrangements – the bride is guaranteed to need your help with something. Ask if there’s anything you can do to help lighten her load, I promise that she’ll appreciate it.

3. You’ll (probably) only wear the dress once.

• If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. A-line isn’t your style? Chartreuse isn’t your favorite color? You’d never wear ruffles if your life depended on it? Too bad! It’s time to be a good friend, suck it up and wear whatever the bride-to-be wants you to wear.*

4. 99 problems & the bride ain’t one

• Your friend has asked you to partake in one of the most special events in her life, treat this as an honor. Whether you’re having trouble planning the bachelorette party, can’t seem to find somewhere to get your dress hemmed or the other bridesmaids are being difficult, don’t let these predicaments fall onto the bride’s plate. She already has enough going on without hearing about how Becky and Susie don’t agree on the center pieces for the bridal shower. Work it out by yourself, or among the bridesmaids, and move on.

5. Make memories & take photos

• Engagement party, bridal shower(s), bachelorette party, ceremony, wedding reception – my head is spinning and I’m only a bridesmaid! With so many things going on, the bride can get wrapped up in the moment and completely forget to take photos of her own. It doesn’t matter if you’re an Instagram photographer or a professional one, whip out that smart phone and get to snapping! When she realizes that she didn’t get any photos, you’ll be her saving grace.

I’m not saying these tips will make the wedding planning/events go exactly as planned, there are bound to be hiccups along the way, but your fate as a bridesmaid relies solely on you. It’s up to the ladies in waiting to help the bride make her wedding one of the most memorable experiences of her life – so don’t be a brat.

*If the bride picks out a ridiculously expensive dress, feel free to laugh in her face. No, but seriously, calmly explain your cost concerns and if she’s your friend (which hopefully she is, you know, since you’re in her wedding), she’ll be more than happy to accommodate.