Lollapaloser – A person that you want to avoid at Lollapalooza and in life
1. Wristbandit: The guy that is still wearing his wristband(s) on Monday at work because he thinks it’s cool.
2. The Pregnant Mudslider: The woman that is 8 months pregnant doing mud slides in Grant Park while Calvin Harris plays in the background.
3. Offspring of Pregnant Mud Sliders: This will be the same Lollapaloser that brings her children every year and subjects them to her fellow Lollapalosers.
4. The Muddy Pig: Anyone that purposely tries to become one with the mud. Mud is for pigs, therefore, you are a pig.
Photo by Jack Edinger, courtesy of Lollapalooza
5. The Puke Spewer: The guy that parties too hard and wakes up in Police custody unaware that his purple vomit has ruined the hair and clothing of many
6. The soon to be Puke Spewer: There is always one of these in every group. This girl will ruin Lollapalooza for at least one of her friends.
7. The “E”diot: The idiot on ecstacy that is more amusing to watch than the live performances.
8. The Child Abuser: Cops: Man punched girl, 11, to get beach ball at Lollapalooza
9. The Downers: People having a serious conversation about their relationship during a live performance by the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
“You’re breaking my heart.” -him
“It’s just not working out.” -her
“Why? I love you.”-him
“I am going to throw up!” – me (works every time)
These two quickly moved away
10. The Napping Fool: The guy that takes a grassy nap during the early performances that no one cares about. Advice: sleep in and come later!
